We just got back from the “Windows and Doors” convention.
I drove all night just to get us to the office. Me, Otto and Clark.
Yes, Clark.
I hadn’t seen Clark all week. Until he showed up at my motel at 1am, last night.
He was completely drunk. His pants were ripped and he told me needed 20 dollars to pay the “cab” in the parking lot. I believe the cab’s name was Shantel.
He told me the “assholes at the Hilton” threw him out.
I asked him where his luggage was. He said “Luggage is for losers.”
He stumbled into our room and shouted “Party!!!” Otto continued to snore.
Then he said “Let’s drink, Alpo.”
He opened our mini fridge and pulled out two bottles of beer. He opened one with his teeth and handed it to me.
I said “There’s an opener on the table.”
He said “Openers are for losers.”
He stuck the bottle in his mouth and popped it open.
Then he screamed. Then his mouth started bleeding. And then Clark threw up on Otto.
That woke Otto up.
Otto sprang up out of a dead sleep, screaming and swinging.
He punched Clark in the face.
Clark crashed into the TV.
By now Otto was awake enough to realize he’d just slugged his boss in the nose. He started shouting “Punch me. Please. Punch me in the face. Then we’ll be even!”
Clark, bleeding from the nose and mouth, and covered in TV screen shards was too busy moaning in agony to return the favor.
About two minutes later Security arrived. Everyone agreed it was time we left.
We hit the road and started for home. Once you’ve been thrown out of a Super 8, there’s really nowhere left to go.
Wow. Booze, hookers and broken TVs. You guys are the rock stars of Windows and Doors.
Oi… This is Helen… Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
I’m catching up! Where has Clark been all week?
No, if we were real rock stars, we’d have done the 3-H coda. Death by heroin and hookers in a hotel room.
You seem to be something of a star, babblingon…
http://sustainabilityculture.com/archives/192
That was a really neat article. Yay Susan!
Thanks, Claire!
On the subject of Rock Stars…
You know what’s wrong with the rock stars of today? They’re mostly the rock stars of yesterday. Christ, can we figure out what killed the dinosaurs and use some of that on Aerosmith and The Stones. Please! What’s even more pathetic is that these geritol fueled geezers still rock harder than today’s delicate and sensitive prefab pop stars. The cry of the musician is no longer “I, 2, 3, 4” but “Dear Diary.” They’re so busy eating tofu, saving rain forests and hanging with politicians that they’ve forgotten the number one rock star rule. You are a god, so act like one! And make sure the god you model yourself after is cruel and vain. You know, like Zeus, or the Buddha. And what happened to the 3-H coda? (see above) Where’s the death by heroin, hookers and hotel rooms? Today’s rebel punk is more likely to bite it in some folk dancing related mishap – and that’s just wrong. It’s enough to make me puke. And I’m talking the type of barf you choke to death on. You know, real rock n’ roll vomit.
Well you needed to say that, boyyo!!
dave
🙂
It’s true. I really did. Talk therapy? Rant therapy? Talking to myself therapy? Ranting and railing to myself therapy?
The main thing is — I feel much better now.
Cheers, Dave!
‘Ranting and railing to myself therapy’
I twice read this as ‘ranting and emailing to myself therapy’, which is one of the best ways of blowing off hot air that I know!
dave
🙂
That’s funny.
“I’m gonna write myself one hell of a nasty letter. And If I see myself later, I’m going to give myself a good talking to.”
I fortunately I was too young to appreciate real rock n roll by the time I was musically aware we had ‘indie rock’ meh
good job I have Wayne’s World to remind me of the says I missed out on
Party on Alan!
Excellent!
Party on, me! (chortle)
(P.S. Wayne’s World: It’s not just a movie, but a st-state of mind…)
😉
Christ! Does anyone know the Heimlich maneuver?
Alan’s chortling!
Hah!
I’m not worthy! I’m not worthy!
Party on, CLT.
Stop stealing my shit!
I just posted four minutes after you…isn’t that like, you know, so amazing. Great minds and all. I KICK ASS.
Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! This is even crazier than the time we both phoned each other at the same time!!!!!!!! Ahhh! Do you remember? And I was like “Ohmigod! I was just calling you!” and you were all like “Ohmigod! I was just calling you!” Ohmigod that was SO funny!
Wait until Brittany hears this, she is so going to spaz out. Okay, I am reverting back now.
How about those Red Wings huh?
Oh.My.God. Y’all are such girls.
I totally was here first and almost commented, but I was like twittering and facebooking at the same time? And so I couldn’t? But whatever!
…awkward moment…
Am I allowed to talk to other people here? Do we mingle on this blog?
Jess, for sure girlfriend hit me up if yo wanna goss!
Do I wanna goss? Thanks, me.
Yes, we can mingle and ignore Alan completely, he doesn’t mind…he sells doors and windows for Pete’s sake.
This reminds me of this time that I was on that plane? You know, that one that crashed that time? It was the exact same plane I had JUST BEEN ON! I almost died!!
Wait…guys? Where are you going? Come back!
*sigh*
I’m standing right beside you BKT, right beside you.
😉
You are so loyal, Alan. Kind of like…well, never mind.
Let’s go have a drink. From a bowl.
And in case your feelings are getting hurt with all talking like you’re not there – just remember I’m socially retarded.
http://bit.ly/14CmFK
(Am I allowed to shamelessly plug myself? I don’t know the rules around here. Where’s the employee handbook?)
It’s underneath the liquor bottles! (Where we always keep it!)
😉
Plug away, my dear.
Or as the British film industry would have said in the 1960’s…
Carry on Plugging
heehee. Is that what he does? He acts like his job is s important by going everyday. What’s up with that?
Please, do the mingle thing. There’s beer and wine in the mini fridge. It’s over by the Austrian guy covered in vomit and to the left of the bloody man whimpering in pain.
Um. I’m good. But thanks for the offer. I think I’ll stick with the little bottles of liquor I stole from the beverage cart on the plane.
😉
Probably a very smart plan. But the offer stands.
History has shown (well me, anyway) that after about three or four little bottles of liquor, the sight of a moaning man covered in blood on the floor with an obsequious and vomit splattered Austrian standing over him and begging to be punched, really can become quite common and everyday.
God, I hope so.
I’m sick of going thru day after mundane day, free from other people’s vomit and blood.
“Omaha – There’s Blood and Vomit a Plenty!”
Apparently that’s its new slogan.
Catchy, ain’t it?
Sweet zombie Jesus! Thank god I wasn’t drinking anything.
I about chortled myself right into the emergency room.
Brilliant!
Sure beats “Omaha: Move Along; Nothing to See Here.”
“Omaha – Enter and Abandon All Hope”
Those Red Wings are so dreamy…
OMG Alan,
Thrown out of a Super 8; that’s just White Trailer Trashy… You must be SO proud!
Sally P
PS: Clark sounds like an absolute asshole, you know? Did you get any pictures (preferably film) on your cell phone? Maybe you can make a few bucks on UTube…
Hahahaha!
Ah, Sally P!
No, I didn’t. Damn it. In all the confusion, I just didn’t think to.
Alan smacks himself on the head.
Wait, you had a mini fridge AND security at a Super 8!! Omaha must be one of them real fancy big cities!! Great story Alan! Oh, and apparently Continental airlines agrees with Clark about luggage being for losers. It might even be their new motto!!
Hahaha!
Hey Scott,
It’s a catchy motto! I like the “truth in advertising” angle as well.
Nice to see you, and thanks for dropping by. Yes, we were living the life of luxury in the Super 8. Not only was there a mini fridge and security guards there was also (at no additional cost if you can believe it) silverfish, cockroaches, and the sweet sound of gunfire in the distance. I’ll miss it terribly. Still, I’ll always have my memories.
I am so rock-n-roll I was thrown out of a HOCKEY GAME! What? That’s right. I was kicked out of a sporting event known for its violence.
Jessica,
Wanna go out for a drink sometime? Most of my friends are “afraid” of a little violence. Pussies.
-Jennifer
*sigh*
Again, right beside ya. Right beside ya.
😉
😀
THAT, is impressive, jessica.
I’m trying to imagine what you have to do to get thrown out of a hockey game…
Climb on the ice and steal a puck?
Climb on the ice and punch out a ref?
Climb on the ice and punch out a player?
Climb on the ice and punch out the Zamboni guy?
Climb on the ice and punch out a mascot?
Climb on the ice and punch out whoever is singing the national anthem?
Climb on the ice naked and punch out a whole bench?
So many questions…
I’m pretty sure she would NOT be thrown out for doing ANYTHING naked. I’ve seen her avatar.
And Jessica, even though it probably sounds like it, I’m not hitting on you. Not that you’re undeserving or anything. I mean…um…
*sigh*
Forget it.
Jennifer,
I would love a drink. You don’t have to explain anything. I have that effect on men and women. I don’t judge.
😉
Jessica
I’ll let it marinate a bit before I tell the tale. It’s going to be delicious.
Great! I’ll bring silverware — and whiskey!
Any chance you could arrange for all the currently elected British MP’s to be thrown out for bad behaviour?
dave
here here!
😉
You have options, Dave.
I can have Clark come over and throw up on them. Or I can get a sleeping and vomit covered Otto to suddenly wake up and start punching them.
Or both.
Both, for sure, and any other degrading acts that can be done in public to get revenge on the b12t1rds.
dave
This lot truly are deserving of all that — and more.
Drown the swine in the troughs they gorged on.
I duno Clark sounds like a pretty cool boss tbh, he likes to party, will supply you with beer and can take a punch in the face from one of his minions without firing his ass!
I’m disappointed the tag ‘Assholes At The Hilton’ only turns up one result 😦
😀
Riot!
I’d figure there’d be more than one. You know, given the whole family lineage…
Are you home yet? Did you let Clark fall out of the moving car? did you have a three way at a truck stop?
Um… scrap that last question
That would be one “interesting” three-way.
A guy on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
A man covered in blood and a broken TV.
An Austrian covered in vomit.
Ooooh! Sexy!
*sound of a whip crack*
In all the mess did you remember to take pictures. They will come in handy the next time Clark wants you to fix the overflowing toilet in the womens restroom.
I completely forgot! All the vomit and blood distracted me – when it should have been inspiring me.
C’est dommage…
P.S. “I am very willing to moonlight even against Hamish Industries policy…”
bearman, bearman, bearman…
BIG MOUTH! Don’t you know Mary Margaret reads this.
😛
… Wait?
She does??????????????
“No light left on for those guys from Hammish Industries”! said Tom Bodett
Hah! Nice.
Yes, when one is not Motel 6 worthy there really is nowhere else to stay.
Ah, the bottom of the bucket. Quiet the view from down here.
Look! Are those chicken organs and feces?
I hope you’re not banned for life from the Super 8. That would be….well, I was going to say terrible, but that’s not the word. Annoying? No. Inconvenient? That’s not it, either, but it hovers in that department.
Shawn,
Please stop threatening me.
Enclosed in this response (below) is a cease and desist letter from my 6-month-old attorney. I trust you will govern yourself accordingly.
To: Shawn of the Shark Tank
From: Big Baby Law Firm
Re: Your Harassment of one Alan Truitt (aka Blue Balls The Clown)
9gvwgqwe-]=r0 ijegrfgrnekgnrenfgin43″andfurthermoregoogoogah”
qwpr lvcnwelfjnwelgw2ow3er823450843024u3
34 googoo66652″babywantbottlewah”tuvtub
poopydiaperjnoj
http://whitesharktank.blogspot.com/2009/05/2-sides-2-story-would-baby-make-good.html
Eh, looks like every other C&D letter I’ve gotten. Your attorney just needs a good spanking.
Strike that. The last time I said that to someone, things ended badly.
Hahahaha!
I’ll give my attorney a warm bottle and a bedtime story instead.
Lucky attorney’s you guys have!!
dave
Hahahaha!
All attorney’s should be treated so well.
Wait… Did I just say that?
😉
Not only did you say, but it’s admissible as evidence, what with it being in the permanent memory of the Internet now.
Google cache: Remembering History for You
😀
My lawyers have just advised me to start drinking.
Finally, some decent legal advice.
I think you should take the rest of the week off! Did you manage to get the booth home in one piece at least?
Amusing story.
Clark insisted we break into the convention centre to get it.
I said “No way!”
Otto said “I’ll do it! And please, punch me in the face.”
Clark punched Otto in the face.
Otto broke in and grabbed our booth.
Then Clark set it on fire.
It would have been easier just to have it shipped back.
Hahahahaha!
So true.
But the fire, Jim, the fire! (It really seemed to make Clark happy. You should have seen him – laughing away maniacally… It warmed the soul and our hands.)
😀
Too bad this didn’t play out like “Very Bad Things” (one of my favorite movies). The whole “concealing the accidental murder of a hooker” thing could have brought you all closer together, building a sense of camaraderie.
If Clark was the one doing her at the time, I could see you and Otto earning a nice, juicy raise.
Except, don’t a few of them die in the end?
Oh well. We’d miss you.
Hey! That’s one of my favorite movies too!
(That funeral scene! Makes me laugh just thinking about it!)
It’s nice to know I’d be missed.
Is Clark a republican, by any chance? Getting kicked out of a Super 8 is like getting kicked in the balls. I’m not sure how, but it is.
Blue Balls The Clown Gets Kicked in the Balls! (The Super 8 Musical)
😀
LMAO!! I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t help but feel a teensy little bit of schadenfreude when I read this.
What would we do without you, Alan (and your seriously messed up co-workers)?
Thanks Andi!
Very kind of you to say.
The schadenfreude is, of course, perfectly understandable.
It really was quite the week, and one day I’m sure I’ll be able to laugh about it. It just may take a couple of years of intensive therapy.
😛
Wait. You mean you made the trip with Otto AND Clark?
…
The trip back. Yup. Clark lost his wallet, plane ticket, and luggage.
Precious memories. 😉
Will you get a raise, then?
Unfortunately, I suspect not.
And all because I didn’t think to take pictures of these precious memories.
I really missed a golden opportunity.
I went to Omaha for nothing. (Hmm, I wonder how many people have said that before?)
😉
P.S. I forgot to mention: “The Viking Earl’s Sleep-Deprived Wet Nurse”
What a hoot!
http://theperfectlady.wordpress.com/2009/05/19/the-viking-earls-sleep-deprived-wet-nurse/
Y’know Alan…. your life would’ve been vastly improved if you’d taken my advice and just… killed… Otto. Then you could’ve just claimed you didn’t know Clark when security showed up and let them handle the drunken mad-man who eats glass.
Duh. =P
I tried to kill him! But he’s a fast runner. And he won’t eat any foods that he hasn’t personally inspected and/or cooked himself.
He’s a crafty guy, that Otto.
I guess when you know that your personality drives people to thoughts of murder you have to stay one step ahead.
😀
Haha – that’s brilliant. Thrown out of a super 8. Maybe don’t tell many people that.
When Clark was down, bleeding and moaning, and Otto was screaming for him to punch him in the face to make things even – you should have told Clark you’d handle it and turn around and give Otto a nice fat right hook saying that Clark had delegated ‘getting even’ to you. That would have taught him for calling out all those road signs and being a crap road trip person. 🙂
Chris…
You are SO right…
Aghhhhhhhhhhhhh!
I missed the opportunity of a lifetime!!!
Hah! Now I just want to punch myself! 🙂
I can’t believe I blew it so badly…
Ah well. It’s nice to think about what might have been. Although living it would have been so much sweeter!
😉
Clark is awesome!
Tragically awesome!
😀
And awesomely tragic!
I loved this post, LOVED IT, right up to the very last line. “Once you’ve been thrown out of a Super 8, there’s really nowhere left to go.” Are you kidding me?!?! You could write a whole blog about where you could go… wait a minute… I’ll be right back…
Hahahaha! Can’t wait, RR!
🙂
OK, I’m back. Thanks Alan, I owe you one! Awesome post, awesome, top shelf. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Hell, I stole it.
Cheers, RR!
Really appreciate the kind words. Loved your suggestions. Funny, funny, stuff.
Okay, I just found where the partyers are! Count me in! 🙂
Great!
Hey yorksnbeans, thanks for dropping by Hamish Industries.
Look forward to seeing you again!
Best,
Alan
a great story, beautifully told 🙂 i laughed and laughed
isn’t is amazing what booze does to ppl?
Hey stinginthetail,
Nice to see you again. And thanks. Yes, it’s true. And while boozy employees may be a liability at the workplace, they can be awfully fun at parties! (Sometimes…)
😉
[…] leave a comment » I don’t know if you read Sickdays by Alantru, but it’s fantabulous. His latest blog is the hilarious conclusion to a not-so-wonderful sales, road trip. Check it out: https://sickdays.wordpress.com/2009/05/21/omaha-the-aftermath […]
Thank you, Ramblin’ Rooster!
I hurt myself laughing.
I said it before, and I’ll say it again, you’re a scholar, a gentleman, and, I might add, one very funny guy.
Cheers!
It looks like you need professional type help. Me and Sallie Waffles could take care of this for yas. I can for vouch Sallie cause the people that like him are good people. You know how to reach me. Bada Bing.
*sigh*
I’m standing right here, Mario.
Right here, goddammit.
You know, pictures would be a great thing to have at a time like that. You could hold them over your boss and get a bit extra in your paycheck. But then that would be wrong… or would it be?
Hi Betty,
Oh no, it would be very, very, right. So right. But I’m so stupid, I forgot to take them!
I also (as Chris wisely pointed out) should have punched Otto in the face and told him that Clark had delegated ‘getting even’ to me.
…So many missed opportunities.
LOSTL! Such violence! Perhaps otto should look at anger management!
And your boss sounds like a stand-up kind of guy!
Bob
Bob,
Thank goodness you’re here. It was an adventure, Bob. But of course, it all pales in comparison to the constant intrigue that is A Day in the Life of Bob Trusty.
Don’t forget to eat bran, Bob
I think you figured out a way to change Hamish’s policy on roommates while traveling!
Your co-workers will thank you.
Cheers, Aunt Baaa
It was the least I could do for them…
Wait. Let me rephrase that.
It was the most I could do for them!
😉
LOL. That is the funniest thing I have read in along time. I could picture the whole thing. VERY, VERY FUNNY.
Thanks Eric,
Very kind of you to say. But really, the thanks has to go the hookers, the vomit, the blood, the booze, and a Super 8 motel room in Omaha. Thanks to them, the comedy practically writes itself.
Omaha’s charter chapter of the Fight Club really has a long way to go.
CLT, you know this because I know this.
Me, I’m just here for the free human fat from liposuction…
Yeah, thanks to the movie there’s always a line…
All can be found at the IMDB.
Or in the demented mind of a woman who adores the novel. I get weak in the knees over Fight Club references.
I know this because Tyler knows this.
I know this because fundamentaljelly knows this.
I am Otto’s smirking revenge.
(Maybe not smirking. “Accidental” would be more accurate.)
😉
I’ve got a stomachful of Otto.
Is that like having a pocketful of sunshine?
(Don’t hate me.)
One of those guilty pleasures we were talking about?
😉
http://barelyknittogether.com/2009/05/20/therapy-thursday-a-little-early-parade-your-shame/
God no! Yuck, ew. Nothing pleasurable about that. Just wanting to test out my torture skills for when the CIA recruits me for my genius.
We can try out our ‘enhanced commenting techniques’ on unexpecting blog passersby.
Sure. To the outsider, it will look like a harmless brainstorming session consisting of schizophrenics with Tourette’s.
Someone will raise the question of what all of this *gestures in a vertical motion to suggest an extremely long comment thread* have to do with that? *indicates something far above his head, like well above the 9-foot ceiling, even*
We’ll say something along the lines of Otto, blood, the milkman, guilty pleasures, Fight Club, Clark, anal-logue, etc. Only in multiple voices all at once like that scene in “The Exorcist III.”
As they run for the metaphorical door, we’ll shout after them: “Come on in, the water’s demented. Hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa!”
😀
Which well and truly begs the question… “Whatever happened to the milkman?”
What did you do to him, CLT?
Hahahaha!
FJ: You’re the master — so you go first! 😉
Jesus, FJ, I’m sorry. I must have an older copy of the script.
I trampled all over your line, like a young Keanu Reeves.
If anyone fugs up our comment thread we can go off on them like an irate Christian Bale.
“Have you ever really commented before?”
“Where the hell did you learn to comment?”
Where’d you get that comment, a comment flea market, damn this pisses me off, either you quit commenting or I will!!”
He’ll forgive you. He’s a sweetheart. Just make sure to send him a photo of your workplace or else I can’t guarantee your personal safety.
http://fundamentaljelly.com/2009/05/21/work-space-continuum/
Variations on a theme:
I trampled all over your line, like a young Keanu Reeve
I trampled all over your line, like a not-so-young Keanu Reeves
I trampled all over your line, like a middle-aged Keanu Reeves
I trampled all over your line, like an elderly Keanu Reeves
I trampled all over your line, like a crabby old fart Keanu Reeves
I trampled all over your line, like a freshly dead Keanu Reeves
I trampled all over your line, like a decomposing Keanu Reeves
I trampled all over your line, like a long dead Keanu Reeves
FJ!! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! Ohmigod! We both posted a response at the same time! And it was along the same theme. Hollywood hunks!!!!!This is even crazier than the time we both phoned each other at the same time!!!!!!!! Ahhh! Do you remember? And I was like “Ohmigod! I was just calling you!” and you were all like “Ohmigod! I was just calling you!” Ohmigod that was SO funny!
“Young” Keanu Reeves. What the hell…
Where was that extraneous qualifier back when I was trying to get a loan?
The extraneous qualifier was, at that stage in its career, just getting started in film work and made a cameo in “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.”
In a nod to Bergman, it played the role of Death.
I have no idea what any of the above means, but Keanu Reeves has that kind of mind boggling effect on me.
😉
Nod to Bergman. Priceless!
I think that was in the original script:
[Bergman enters]
Bill, Ted. Good to see you.
Ted: [nod to Bergman]
Bergman: I see you’re carrying out death’s duties today, Ted. Perhaps I can engage you in a game of Triominoes. For your soul.
Ted: Whoa. [go to expression “B”]
Awesome, dude.
Speaking of awesome…
http://capitalistliontamer.wordpress.com/2009/05/22/buy-american-the-benefits-of-purchasing-a-big-3-vehicle/
Smashing stuff!
The CIA will be pleased, Agent 99.
OMG. It’s like you have ESPN or something…this should be, on like, totally the Discovery Channel or Nat Geo.
Ohmigod!
That’s what I was thinking!!!!!!!!
(PSN… I mean, PS: “ESPN” = LOL!)
😀
Hi-larity!
FJ FTW – ESPN or something! It just doesn’t get any better than that.
OMG, Alan! I leave to get a bottle of whiskey and who are all these people here? It was such a cozy party!
I’m just too much of a social misfit for this. I’m going outside to sit in the grass, gaze at the stars and drink my Jack and ginger.
They’re my new friends from The City of Omaha Police Department!
Make sure you hide your contraband while enjoying your Jack and ginger. (Sounds delightful, by the way.)
[…] Garth Play Hockey | Jewssip…http://www.myairshoes.com/nike/waynes-world-2-air-force-ones.html…Omaha: The Aftermath « Sick Days…Saturday Night Special: Bon Family Blowout « AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com…WAYNE’S WORLD […]
You could be onto a winner here, Alan.
Never mind that you forgot to take potentially valuable photos of Clark, dressed in a little off-the-shoulder TV set – who needs blackmail money anyway.
What you have instead is a shit-hot idea that could clean up in the toy market.
Remember how successful ‘Tickle-me-Elmo’ was?
Well, you were there at the birth of the idea for ‘Punch-me-Otto’ – A wild eyed, pyjama clad, vomit smelling doll, that swings its arms and squeaky “punch me!”, when you poke it in the ribs.
Go for it, mate….get to that Patent office sharpish, and kiss Hamish goodbye.
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
Ahhhh, NobblySan….
Genius!
Hahahahahahahaha!
Too rich for words!
I wish I were too rich for words.
Trouble is…. I keep giving away all my good money-making ideas.
Ah, yes. I can see it now. The “Punch Me Otto” doll is a huge hit…
All over the world, kids are punching Otto.
Meanwhile in a pub in Scotland, NobblySan tells his mates, “The Punch Me Otto Doll, it was my idea. My idea!”
His pals smiles sympathetically and a bit sadly.
One of them says, “Sure it was, mate. Just like the cabbage patch kids and Teletubbies. Here, tell you what, let me buy you a round.”
I won’t let that happen, NobblySan.
I’ll send over the contracts tomorrow.
I can’t think of a better place to test out a toy that revolves around punching than Scotland, home of the Glasgow kiss.
Aye, is a fookin’ dead brilliant plan!
Wow. That is an amazing accent you have there. Only for some reason, you sound like my friend Ian “Jacko” Jack from Edinburgh.
Aye. Jacko. A right bony wee lad. A bit of a haddie when it a comes to playing the horses, but I no care that everyone says “he isnae a numpty, he’s more of a eejit.” Fook them. He’s ma mate and that’s that.
No, you must be talking about Jacko from the nort. My Jacko be a stout, whiskey swillin’ bauchle from south Auld Reekie.
He plays bass in a band called Machar Granite.
He came to visit, got hammered, and fell in love with the redneck lifestyle. Now he wears a John Deere hat at all his gigs.
I kid you not.
I believe ya lass… Scots in the south is a long and grand tradition.
http://www.amazon.com/How-Scots-Invented-Modern-World/dp/0609606352
Dead brilliant book, by the way.
“Auld Reekie”
Beautiful city with a stinky history…
I just received this very nice message from our friend, Dave Hambidge…
Just a quick note to say that I have highlighted this blog in an e-booklet I have produced to accompany the interview I will be doing on BBC Radio Stoke (North Midlands of UK) on Sunday 24 May 2009 at 1400hrs BST.
The subject will be internet publishing and blogging.
To see the e-booklet, please go to;
http://tinyurl.com/r4qw7o
If you still have the inclination to listen to the interview on line please go to
http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/console/bbc_radio_stoke/
Best wishes
dave
Thanks, Dave!!!
Wow. You’ve got all kind of good news just within this comment thread.
Congratulations!
Cheers, CLT.
It’s very kind of Dave to do this. A generous man.
Kudos bro!!!
Thanks, FJ!
I’m laughing so much I think I may have wet myself.
😉
I do that all the time!
Thanks, pinnythewu!
Thrown out of a Super 8?
You haven’t hit rock bottom till you’ve been thrown out of a Motel 6 in Cleveland after hitting a goose in their parking lot.
Hahaha!
I’ll take your word for that, mike. Maybe some day you can post about it? It sounds very, very intriguing.
It was a worthwhile trip, all the same.
Wasn’t it?
WASN’T IT?????
😛
Clark vomited on Otto.
Otto punched Clark.
It was everything I could have ever hoped for.
I started reading a week ago, got to the first comment, got distracted. I came back. Got distracted. Read a novel straight through without stopping or sleeping. I came back. I read all the way to here. I laughed. I cried. I smelled vomit. I stepped on broken glass. I didn’t make a single anal comment.
When you get back to work, Otto’s going to be a hero for punching Clark. He will probably even get the attention of Carlita.
You should have punched one of them when you had the chance.
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