Archive for the ‘Staff – Mary Margaret’ Category

Mary Margaret brought her five-year-old daughter to the office today.

Everyone fussed all over her and cracked out the usual old chestnuts.

“So, you must be the new customer service representative.”

“We’re hiring them young these days.”

“Can I show you where the coffee is?”

The kid look horrified. And rightly so…

I don’t have children and I’m no expert on early childhood education but I don’t think children should be exposed to cubicles, recycled air and office politics until they’re at least old enough to smoke.

It seems cruel.

“Hey, kid, look what’s waiting for you in 20 years: Stale coffee, staff meetings and a tiny horse stall all your own. Enjoy your freedom while you can!”

This is more traumatic than walking in on your parents having sex…

Then again, maybe it isn’t quite that bad…

Maybe it’s possible that seeing all the mind-numbing paper pushing first hand will drive the kid to aspire to bigger and better things.

I sure hope so.

In any case, Mini-Mary Margaret seemed to fit right in. She sat in her mother’s chair, plunked away on the computer and even forwarded me a joke email. A chip off the old block.

She even cried when we ran out of cookies.

Maybe we should just get her business cards printed now. Looks like she has a future at Hamish Industries.

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I needed to borrow a stapler. I asked Mary Margaret, the woman with braces and the white streak in her hair. She giggled. And then she leant me one.

That was that… Right?


When I got back to my desk there was an email joke from Mary Margaret. The subject line was “Spineless Chiropractors.”

Then, another email from Mary Margaret. Attached was a video. In it, a fat old man was singing that he doesn’t “look good naked anymore.” I had to agree.

Then I got another joke email from her… And then another… And another…

Mary Margaret is a joke forwarder.

I just wanted to borrow a stapler.

She just sent me a JPEG of cats in hats. Not one cat. Not two cats. But ten cats. Ten cats in hats.

Great, now I sound like Dr. Seuss…

She just sent five more!

I keep deleting. They keep arriving.

What circle of Hell do they “write” these things in?

Subject: “FW: What goes tee hee hee and then explodes?”

I hope the answer is “Mary Margaret.”

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