I met with Trudy from HR to finish some outstanding paperwork and “touch base.”
Everything was going tickety boo until I made a joke. I said it was funny that Hamish Industries makes windows and doors, but my cubicle had neither.
So Trudy set me straight on Hamish hierarchy.
General office staff don’t get doors or windows. Period.
Supervisors with less than 5 years experience get indirect sunlight. Supervisors with 5 years experience get an office with a window — when one comes free. And that can take years. But they don’t get doors.
Managers get offices with windows and doors — but not corner offices. That would be wrong. The exception is managers with 20 years of service. They get corner offices – but only on the south east side of the building.
Directors get corner offices with 3 windows, one door, and a hand job.
(She was speaking quickly so it may have been intercom, not hand job… I can’t be sure).
Vice presidents get corner offices with board tables, 3-5 windows, private washrooms and reserved parking. And, apparently, I’m not entitled to know what a CEO gets. That’s confidential.
I’ll try to avoid Trudy in future. Good thing her office doesn’t have a window. After 10 minutes with her I’d have jumped out of it.