9.01am: Farook is at my desk. He tells me he wants to be more popular and could use my advice.
I ask why he’s come to me. He says that I “appear to be moderately well liked by most, and tolerated by the rest.”
What a sweet talker.
9.02am: I suggest that he lighten up, smile, say hello, and play the odd practical joke.
Farook says “Practical jokes?” He barks out a single laugh and leaves.
9.03am: I’m pretty sure I’ve made a big mistake.
9.15am: Swearing three cubes down. Word is “someone” dumped coffee grounds in Naline’s desk drawer.
Let the antics begin.
10.45am: Next victim… Me! I enter my horse stall to discover my mouse has been crazy glued to my desk. Bravo, Farook. Well played.
12.42am: Nutless Tom goes into anaphylactic shock. Apparently some crazy prankster put peanut butter in his egg salad sandwich. An ambulance is called.
Farook is nowhere to be seen…
1.36pm: Jack from Payroll enters my cube weeping. Someone has shredded all his reports and his family photos. When he leaves, I see the sign pinned on his back that says Fire Me.
2.54pm: Naline screams. I run to the office kitchen and watch Mike pull a blue lipped Farook out of the fridge. Apparently he emptied it, crawled in and waited for someone to open the door so he could spring out and yell at them.
4.12pm: Farook enters my cube. I say “You’re going overboard.”
He says “No I’m not. I’m making them laugh.”
He tells me he’s thinking of pulling the building’s fire alarm or slamming a coconut cream pie in Otto’s face.
He asks “Which one is funnier?”
4.13pm: Farook slams a coconut cream pie in Otto’s face.
4.14pm: Otto punches Farook in the stomach.
5.02pm: I leave the building. As I exit, I hear the fire alarm going off.