Went to my first staff meeting.
My boss, Clark, looked tired. And annoyed.
He wanted it done with – and quick. He had an agenda and he stuck with it. But then he made his fatal mistake.
“Does anyone have any issues they’d like to raise?”
Short answer. Yes.
It was like a wrestling cage match. Brutal attack after brutal attack…
People upset that their pens are going missing.
Other people complaining about staff hoarding pens.
People complaining about people complaining about pens – when they should be complaining about the lack of paper.
People upset that there wasn’t enough toilet paper in the bathroom.
People speculating that certain people didn’t know how much toilet paper to use.
Requests for a toilet paper replacement policy.
Discussion on whether or not we needed a form for the toilet paper replacement policy.
Concerns about the state of the fridge in the lunchroom.
Concerns about the amount of time people take to eat their lunch.
Counter attacks about healthy mastication.
A question about why we had coffee and tea but no cocoa. After all, who doesn’t like cocoa?
It was killing Clark to have to listen to this stuff. He looked like he wanted to climb over baffles and leap across fax machines to get away from us. But even if he could, he couldn’t. Clark is really out of shape.
In the upside down world of the corporate Serengeti, the gazelles are attacking a lion…