Posts Tagged ‘the Sick Days’

This place is a hotbed for gossip. In the course of eight hours something can transform from observation to rumour to absolute fact to long-standing truism. It’s amazing to watch.

My boss, Clark, gets off the elevator at the same time as Carlita Paonessa. People see this…

Typhoid Mildred comments on how “tired” Clark and Carlita appear. Perhaps they were up late?

Mary Margaret wonders just how did Carlita her job? And what “strings” did she have to pull to get it?

Assurances from those “in the know” that Clark’s marriage is in trouble.

Rumors that Carlita is carrying Clark’s child and demanding he leave his wife.

Nutless Tom wonders whether or not Carlita has been in a number of “closed door meetings” with Clark.

First use of word “floozy” in reference to Carlita.

A raging debate between Farook from Accounting and Naline over whether Carlita is a “floozy” or a “skank.”

Consensus has been reached: they’ve been “fooling around” for months – maybe years.

Everyone agrees: we’re all victims in this. And just who do they think they’re kidding?

The Goth kid from the mailroom pipes up with, “Huh, I always thought he was gay.”

Clark and Otto seen leaving office together and reportedly “sharing a joke.” People see this…

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I didn’t expect a great job.  Not even a good one.  And I definitely didn’t expect Mildred McClellan.

Mildred is the senior customer service representative here at Hamish Industries. I’m not sure if “senior” refers to her age or her time with the company – or both.

All I know is she’s my orientation buddy.

Mildred is a tiny thing with a booming Scottish accent. That takes getting used to. She has two cushions on her chair just to get her propped up to desk level.

Her cubicle is a shrine to Hamish Industries. From the 1950’s Hamish Industries print ads on her walls to the Hamish Industries coffee mug, key chain, and chachkes on her desk – it’s all Hamish all the time with her.

“I had a mastectomy on Thursday and was back to work on Monday.”

Honest to God, that’s the first thing she said to me. Apparently, dragging yourself in after having a body part removed is expected around here.

She said that colds, flues or other “wee ailments” never stopped her from getting to work.

From now on I’m calling her “Typhoid Mildred.”

Just not to her face.

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