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Posts Tagged ‘ludicrous training’

blue-triangle450
We had a “team breakaway” this morning.

It wasn’t my boss Clark’s idea. His notion of a breakaway would be to bus us all to another state and never look back.

It came from Trudy in HR. So it’s a corporate thing.

We started off by playing a game called “Mine Field.” Stuff is scattered on the floor and you have to “guide” your blindfolded partner through without blowing them up.

I worked with Farook from Accounting. It didn’t go well.

I told Clark that he’d have to write a letter to Farook’s parents explaining that he died valiantly in battle. Clark didn’t laugh.

Up next, we had someone come in to do our “True Colors.” It’s a very precise psychological test that is premised on the theory that human beings can be broken into one of four colors. Apparently we’re not as complicated a race as we like to think. I’m “Blue.”

After our colors were accessed it was time to find out what kind of “geometric shape” we are. I’m a “triangle.”

Most people are “square.” As a collective, they’re pretty pleased about it.

When I questioned the validity of labelling people as specific colors and shapes, Typhoid Mildred called me a “narrow minded little triangle… And a blue one at that!”

We ended with “Trust Exercises.”

I was partnered with Otto. I don’t trust him and he doesn’t trust anyone. We both agreed we weren’t going to do them. I think it’s the first thing Otto and I have agreed on.

Baby steps…

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