Posts Tagged ‘human resources’

We had two feet of snow yesterday.

In response: An email from our friend in Human Resources, Trudy Cousins.

She advises us that it often snows in the winter.

Thanks, Trudy. Anything else?

We are also told that heavy snow storms can result in challenges for employees getting to work.


Trudy just wants to remind us that in the event of a severe winter storm, we are still expected to make every reasonable effort to report to work.

She also provides simple tips that will help us get to work while the rest of the free world is following the police advisories to stay off the roads except in the case of medical emergency.

Her tips include:

If you know a storm is coming, give yourself extra time for the morning drive
Purchase quality snow tires
Pack a shovel and blanket in the trunk of your car

I wonder what advice she has for getting to work during a nuclear attack…

If your car is vaporized, give yourself extra time for the morning walk
Purchase a quality radiation suit
Duck, cover and roll to the office

I called Trudy to find out policy on an insurance issue. But apparently she left early.

Guess she wanted to beat the traffic home.

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I met with Trudy from HR to finish some outstanding paperwork and “touch base.”

Everything was going tickety boo until I made a joke. I said it was funny that Hamish Industries makes windows and doors, but my cubicle had neither.

So Trudy set me straight on Hamish hierarchy.

General office staff don’t get doors or windows. Period.

Supervisors with less than 5 years experience get indirect sunlight. Supervisors with 5 years experience get an office with a window — when one comes free. And that can take years. But they don’t get doors.

Managers get offices with windows and doors — but not corner offices. That would be wrong. The exception is managers with 20 years of service. They get corner offices – but only on the south east side of the building.

Directors get corner offices with 3 windows, one door, and a hand job.

(She was speaking quickly so it may have been intercom, not hand job… I can’t be sure).

Vice presidents get corner offices with board tables, 3-5 windows, private washrooms and reserved parking. And, apparently, I’m not entitled to know what a CEO gets. That’s confidential.

I’ll try to avoid Trudy in future. Good thing her office doesn’t have a window. After 10 minutes with her I’d have jumped out of it.

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