Posts Tagged ‘elevator music’

This is disturbing.

Today I suddenly realized that I’m attracted to Carlita Paonessa.

It happened in (of all places) the elevator…

3rd Floor
I want to say: “Carlita, you’re looking rather tempestuous.”

Instead I say: “Snort! I mean, hi…”

Carlita rolls her eyes.

6th Floor
I want to say: “It saddens my poetic soul that we must avert our hungry eyes from each other when there is so much to say.”

Instead I say: “Work sucks, huh?”

Carlita sighs. Balefully.

10th Floor
Carlita says “It’s Alpo, right?”

I want to say: “That’s the nickname the peons here have given me. But when you say it, it sounds resonant, sensuous and provocative.”

Instead I say: “Yup. That’s me.”

11th – 19th Floor
Uncomfortable silence.

I fantasize about the two of us dancing in the elevator to romantic music. Carlita gives me a look that she probably reserves for incontinent dogs. Then she says “Are you… dancing by yourself to elevator musac?”

20th Floor
I want to say: “Only because the rhythm of your beauty has swept me up like a seductive tango.”

Instead I say: “Sorry. I just farted.”

21st Floor
She says “Look, Alpo. I’ve been meaning to ask you –”

22nd — 23rd Floor
A long pause.

I want to say: “Ask away, sweet Carlita. I shall provide you with the answers you desire.”

Instead I say: “Nerk!!!!!”

24th Floor
The doors open.

She says: “Forget it.”

I just stare with my mouth hanging open.

We walk out. I go left. She goes right.

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Today I shared an elevator with Carlita Paonessa.

Just the two of us.

Ironically, that was the Muzak playing as we were going up.

3rd Floor
I say “Hello.” Carlita checks her blackberry.

4th Floor
She looks up and says “It’s Adam, right?”

5th Floor
I say “Alan.”

6th Floor
I scratch my head.

7th Floor
We both cough at the same time.

8th Floor
I say “So, I hear you’re re-branding our website.”

9th Floor
She says “Not any more. Clark canceled the project. Christ!”

10th Floor
I say “Oh. What are you working on now?”

11th Floor
She laughs strangely. “Good Question.”

12th Floor
Carlita shakes her head and says “Idiots.” I nod but have no idea what she is talking about.

14th Floor
I say “Do you think they’ll ever bring back the 13th floor?”

15th Floor – 20th Floor
Uncomfortable silence.

21st Floor.
She says “Look, Adam. Let’s just keep this conversation between us. Okay?”

21st Floor
I say “Alan.”

22nd Floor
She says “Right. Sorry. Whatever. But just between us. Yeah?”

23rd Floor
I say “Okay.”

24th Floor
The doors open. We walk out. I go left. She goes right.

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