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Posts Tagged ‘Eaten by Hamish’

sick-days-three-things
Three Little Things…

Number One

I accidentally ran into Clark in the building’s coffee shop. I hadn’t spoken to him since my performance review. I’m sure he appreciates that.

We started talking. I was surprised by how friendly he was. Funny even.

I told him I was enjoying working for him.

He went pale, said he was busy and walked away.

Guess he didn’t realize I was one of his staff.

Number Two

Today all staff received a “Management Memo.”

I won’t bore you with the details (and, yeah, they were boring) but check out the memo’s final sentence…

We continue to be committed to finding ways to improve cummunication between senior management and staff.

Cummunication…

Cummunication between senior management and staff

The Senior Management at Hamish Industries are old white men. Really old white men.

I’m glad to have a job but I don’t want to get to know the old boy’s club that well.

Naline CC’d back saying she thought “additional social intercourse would be welcomed.”

Number Three

Mary Margaret and I will be analyzing customer service trends tomorrow. We’ll be spending the day together.

This is unfortunate because Mary Margaret is a notorious crier.

She cries if she’s late for work. She cries if her computer crashes. She cries if someone forgets to say good morning.

Jack from Accounting told me that he and Mary Margaret have worked together before.

He said that if I don’t want her to cry, I must never talk about:

Last year’s Christmas party
Cats
John Cougar Mellencamp
Orange juice
Jellyfish
Ergonomic mouse pads
Career momentum
Dust bunnies
The photocopier
Persons
Places
Things

My plan? I’m going to break into tears before she does and throw her off her game.

It’s pathetic, but I’m sure it’ll work.

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