This is disturbing.
Today I suddenly realized that I’m attracted to Carlita Paonessa.
It happened in (of all places) the elevator…
I want to say: “Carlita, you’re looking rather tempestuous.”
Instead I say: “Snort! I mean, hi…”
Carlita rolls her eyes.
I want to say: “It saddens my poetic soul that we must avert our hungry eyes from each other when there is so much to say.”
Instead I say: “Work sucks, huh?”
Carlita sighs. Balefully.
Carlita says “It’s Alpo, right?”
I want to say: “That’s the nickname the peons here have given me. But when you say it, it sounds resonant, sensuous and provocative.”
Instead I say: “Yup. That’s me.”
11th – 19th Floor
I fantasize about the two of us dancing in the elevator to romantic music. Carlita gives me a look that she probably reserves for incontinent dogs. Then she says “Are you… dancing by yourself to elevator musac?”
I want to say: “Only because the rhythm of your beauty has swept me up like a seductive tango.”
Instead I say: “Sorry. I just farted.”
She says “Look, Alpo. I’ve been meaning to ask you –”
22nd — 23rd Floor
A long pause.
I want to say: “Ask away, sweet Carlita. I shall provide you with the answers you desire.”
Instead I say: “Nerk!!!!!”
The doors open.
She says: “Forget it.”
I just stare with my mouth hanging open.
We walk out. I go left. She goes right.