Mike is such a piece of work…
Along with everything else, he’s also a story topper. Any story you tell him, he always – and I mean ALWAYS – has to top it…
Mike: So, how was your weekend?
Me: It was okay, thanks. I had a sore throat. So… Low key.
Mike: Yeah, I had strep throat. I had to go the hospital. Doctors said I nearly died…
Me: Sorry to hear that… I got out for a short walk on Sunday. Get this, I left my keys in the house. Locked myself out.
Mike: I went jogging on Sunday. I jog 10 miles everyday… Got attacked by my neighbor’s dogs! Had to fight ‘em off with my bare hands…
Me: Wow. It’s amazing how they didn’t leave any scars.
Mike: My skin is unlike anyone else’s. It has incredible rejuvenating powers.
It’s usually around this point that I start to make things up just to watch him lie.
Me: You’re lucky. Speaking of which, I won 100 dollars in the lottery this weekend.
Mike: I won 10,000.
Me: Congratulations! Cool stuff like that never happens to me. Although, I thought I saw a UFO outside my window Sunday night.
Mike: It was probably the one that abducted me.
Me: Alien abduction?! I read about a guy who that happened to. He said they implanted a chip in his ear.
Mike: They implanted it in my ass.
Me: Anal probe? Unbelievable, Mike. I’ll have to tell my neighbor. He knows a lot about this stuff.
Mike: My neighbor is the world’s number one authority on it.
Me: Incredible… Anyway, I should get back to work. Clark asked me to get him the quarterly report.
Mike: Yeah, I’m working on the annual report for the CEO. Special project.
Me: See you later.
Mike: I’ll see you first.