Archive for March 23rd, 2009

Mike is such a piece of work…

Along with everything else, he’s also a story topper. Any story you tell him, he always – and I mean ALWAYS – has to top it…

Mike: So, how was your weekend?

Me: It was okay, thanks. I had a sore throat. So… Low key.

Mike: Yeah, I had strep throat. I had to go the hospital. Doctors said I nearly died…

Me: Sorry to hear that… I got out for a short walk on Sunday. Get this, I left my keys in the house. Locked myself out.

Mike: I went jogging on Sunday. I jog 10 miles everyday… Got attacked by my neighbor’s dogs! Had to fight ‘em off with my bare hands…

Me: Wow. It’s amazing how they didn’t leave any scars.

Mike: My skin is unlike anyone else’s. It has incredible rejuvenating powers.

It’s usually around this point that I start to make things up just to watch him lie.

Me: You’re lucky. Speaking of which, I won 100 dollars in the lottery this weekend.

Mike: I won 10,000.

Me: Congratulations! Cool stuff like that never happens to me. Although, I thought I saw a UFO outside my window Sunday night.

Mike: It was probably the one that abducted me.

Me: Alien abduction?! I read about a guy who that happened to. He said they implanted a chip in his ear.

Mike: They implanted it in my ass.

Me: Anal probe? Unbelievable, Mike. I’ll have to tell my neighbor. He knows a lot about this stuff.

Mike: My neighbor is the world’s number one authority on it.

Me: Incredible… Anyway, I should get back to work. Clark asked me to get him the quarterly report.

Mike: Yeah, I’m working on the annual report for the CEO. Special project.

Me: See you later.

Mike: I’ll see you first.

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