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Archive for March 20th, 2009

sick-days-chair-search
9.01am:
Mary Margaret walks into my cube crying. Someone stole her chair.
I sympathize.

9.02am:
I’m out of sympathy but she’s still crying. And she’s not leaving.

2 seconds later:
I tell her she can have my chair.

5 seconds later:
She says “No, I couldn’t, Alan” and then leaves with it.

53 seconds later:
I realize I can’t stand and type at my computer. I need a chair.

9.03am:
The hunt is on.

9.04am:
I pass Otto’s cube. He spins toward me in his chair like a Bond villain. Then he keeps spinning. He can’t seem to stop.

9.05am:
Farook from Accounting peers out of his cube and tells me to keep my eyes off his chair… He’s written his name on it.

9.06am
I ask Nutless Tom if he knows where I can find a spare chair.

For some reason, he whispers. He tells me that chairs are a precious commodity at Hamish Industries. Then he sits down – quickly.

9.07am – 9.10am:
I discover a part of our office I’ve never seen before. I feel like Magellan.

But no chair to be found.

9.11am:
I ask Carlita if she knows where I can find a chair. She looks at me like I just asked if I could see her naked.

9.12am:
I need a chair!

9.13am:
Walk past Mary Margaret’s cube. She’s not in it. I stare at my chair…

9.14am:
I steal back my chair.

9.15am:
Back in my cube and seated in my chair.

9.16am:
Mary Margaret walks into my cube crying. Someone stole her chair. I offer sympathy. But that’s all she’s getting.

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