St. Patrick’s Day is an interesting “holiday” here at Hamish Industries.
Mary Margaret may be the only person in our department of Irish heritage, but there’s no shortage of festive spirit.
We have green cookies, green cake and green tea laid out on a table by the photocopier.
Me, I try to avoid green food.
There’s only one person here who dislikes St. Patrick’s Day… And that’s Typhoid Mildred.
I know… I was shocked too.
According to Mildred, if we celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, we should also celebrate Robbie Burns Day.
Apparently she’s lobbied for this for years… I’ve seen the petition. There’s only one signature.
Mildred is having a hard time getting her head around the fact that drinking green beer and going to a parade is more fun than reading poetry and digging into a plate of steaming haggis.
But I think the real reason that she’s pissed is because today’s her birthday.
It must drive her round the bend to have to share the day with an Irish Saint.
So, tonight, while everyone else is knocking back the green beer, I’ll order a single malt scotch in honour of St. Mildred’s Day.
But I’ll never eat haggis.
That would just be wrong.