Arrive at work to find Farook from Accounting measuring my cubicle. He looks trapped. Trapped in my cubicle.
I say “Good morning, Farook.”
He says my cube is 3 square inches wider than his. And that I’m late.
I was hoping for “Good morning, Alan.”
Email from Farook. We need to talk about my cubicle. Something about “favoritism” and “standards.”
Farook arrives at my cubicle. He asks if I got his email. I say “Yes.” He sighs painfully. I smile politely. He storms off.
I’m in the bathroom. Next thing I know, Farook is standing behind me. He demands to speak about my extra 3 inches. I suggest this might not be the appropriate venue and zip up quickly.
Farook enters my cube and takes some digital photos.
Back from lunch to discover Farook in my cubicle with Trudy from Human Resources and my boss, Clark. Clark looks tired and annoyed. There is a lot of measuring and debate.
Email from Farook telling me that none of this is personal. He trusts I understand.
Memo from Trudy. Customer service cubicles are being reconfigured due to “irregularities.” Workers arrive Monday. We are advised to box files, disconnect computers and be prepared for minor inconveniences next week.
Revised floor plan arrives from Trudy.
Near riot as staff argue about changes to the cubes. Typhoid Mildred calls Farook a “bleeding eedjit.” Nutless Tom laughs. Mary Margaret cries. Otto demands to be moved closer to the washroom. Pandemonium ensues…
Turns out the only two who aren’t affected by the move – me and Farook.