When I arrived at work today, I found a box of 500 business cards sitting on my desk.
The cards say Alan E. Truitt, Customer Service Representative. I had asked Trudy in HR for Alan E. Truitt, Super Genius.
I knew there was no way. But still, I was hoping…
To be honest, I’m not sure what to do with the cards. We only get out of the office three or four times a year and that’s for internal training sessions. So at best, I might be able to get rid of six a year.
That means it’ll take me 84 years to finish the box.
Frankly, I was hoping to be promoted out of here in the next 2 to 3 years.
Typhoid Mildred told me that she has over 20 boxes in her office. Every time the company restructures, changes ownership, or logo, a new box arrives and she tucks it away. Never had a reason to use one.
That is even more depressing.
I asked Otto if he wanted to trade some. Like baseball cards. He told me he’s already on his third box – and can’t spare any on the likes of me.
He didn’t say what he’s doing with them.
My guess is that he leaves them in phone booths, passes them out at the line-ups in Wendy’s, and stands on street corners handing them out like leaflets. According to Otto, you need to “be out there.”
Otto is undoubtedly “out there.”
I sent one to my mother. She likes that kind of stuff. Only 499 to go.