Today I received “formal” training on our phone systems. Top hat and tails were optional.
There were two of us. Me and Otto, the other new guy. Otto is short and has a waist that starts just under his arm pits. He’s also really intense.
He must have written 40 pages of notes on how to pick up the phone.
I wrote one note. It said, “Otto is freaking me out.”
I also drew a picture of a dog.
At lunch, Otto wouldn’t stop talking about the training. He was pumped about “going live” with real customers. He sounded like a fighter pilot getting ready for his first mission.
“It’s coming, Alan, the moment of truth. Time to do or die. Into the breach…”
Yes, he actually said, “Into the breach…”
I just wanted to eat my lunch. But he wouldn’t stop.
“Did you catch the part about warm transfers? What do you think about the headsets? Are you worried about call volumes?”
My soup was getting cold. I needed to do something.
“Just remember, Otto, if you run into problems, we always have the, Press 3, Pound, 7, Zero Out option. That’s key.”
He went pale.
“Yeah, of course. Absolutely, Alan. Good point.”
He left pretty quickly after that. Guess he wanted to revisit his notes.
I felt kind of bad about lying… But like I said, my soup was getting cold.