The Unofficial Guide to Office Gossip

This place is a hotbed for gossip. In the course of eight hours something can transform from observation to rumour to absolute fact to long-standing truism. It’s amazing to watch.

8:47am:
My boss, Clark, gets off the elevator at the same time as Carlita Paonessa. People see this…

9:02am:
Typhoid Mildred comments on how “tired” Clark and Carlita appear. Perhaps they were up late?

9:37am:
Mary Margaret wonders just how did Carlita her job? And what “strings” did she have to pull to get it?

10:44am:
Assurances from those “in the know” that Clark’s marriage is in trouble.

11:19am:
Rumors that Carlita is carrying Clark’s child and demanding he leave his wife.

12.31pm:
Nutless Tom wonders whether or not Carlita has been in a number of “closed door meetings” with Clark.

1:23pm:
First use of word “floozy” in reference to Carlita.

2:14pm:
A raging debate between Farook from Accounting and Naline over whether Carlita is a “floozy” or a “skank.”

3:06pm:
Consensus has been reached: they’ve been “fooling around” for months – maybe years.

3:37pm:
Everyone agrees: we’re all victims in this. And just who do they think they’re kidding?

3.38pm:
The Goth kid from the mailroom pipes up with, “Huh, I always thought he was gay.”

4:57pm:
Clark and Otto seen leaving office together and reportedly “sharing a joke.” People see this…